How do we practise the approach we have to dating IRL online?
Hey kitty cats,
I’ve been running a muck lately - it’s like someone rang the bell of last drinks for the summer - and I reacted! Busy wining and dining and celebrating - Ben’s birthday, our anniversary etc etc - March is a good month of good, juicy stuff.
Fun aside, I sense some of you may have felt a wave of emotion from last week’s full moon? Thats ok. Perhaps it wasn’t emotional and it was a bit of a release. There is a full moon in the sky which can sometimes be a cause of this. Feel it, release and let it go!
This week I was asked on the Single Pringle Instagram account about how to consciously and considerately approach online dating profiles. It was hard to believe I hadn’t discussed this before.
“How do we practise the approach we have to dating IRL, online? ”
I have a few tips!
Firstly, we need to ensure we have an idea of what we are trying to gain from dating - whether we are dating online or in person. Are you looking for a f*Ck? Are you looking for a relationship? Are you looking for neither?
We need to ensure then that we are honest about this to ourselves, and to them. WhileI don’t suggest you put this in your profile straight up, it’s essential to have a clear mind when you go in.
What are your values? In the Single Pringle Values workshop, I share an exercise that assists you in finding your value match from assessing what values you obtain first. (You can do the online workshop here) Are you kind? Funny? Loving. These are values and virtues you will deserve in a partner. If you are looking for a partner, I would suggest finding out what your dating values are and subtly sharing them on your profile.
My last piece of advice for approaching dating profiles is not to change your desires and be clear about them up front. If you are looking for a relationship, then be upfront about that. If you are looking to meet as many people as possible because you are straight out of a break up then share that too.
“It’s ok for us (particularly women) to be clear (which isn’t aggressive) about what we want. Let it come from a warm, nourishing place, and when you share it online people will get a sense of that. ”
For example, if you are uneasy and overcompensating it will come across…a lot. Like this -
For, eg.
Stacey June
Fun and chilled. Loves the beach and beers with mates.
NOT LOOKING FOR ONE NIGHT STANDS.
You can be bright and flirty. Meditate on where you are at and pull your honesty from a vulnerable yet proud place. You have no reason to be anything other than what you are. Casually dating or looking for love. You do you.
For, eg.
Stacey June
Fun loving, Kind, Broadcaster.
Looking to meet someone likeminded with hopes to evolve.
It doesn’t necessarily say I WANT A BOYFRIEND. But it does put your agenda forward.
If you are nervous about owning where you are at - you can read a blog post I posted recently
How specific do you go without being 'picky?'
It is ok to ask for what you want. But when getting to know someone there is a fine line. I get it. Try mixing your profile up with these suggestions and email me and let me know how you are going!
Don’t forget to get amongst this week’s #selfcentredpodcast. This week it’s about Transition. Perfect for those of you who feel they have walked far, far away from their lives (ex boyfriends / girlfriends etc) but are feeling super unsure how long the path ahead is. Perhaps you are ok being single now, but you feel a little scared by not being able to control the path ahead. This is hard and I refer to it as a transition phase.
I am there too so I hope what I share gives you some comfort.
Be kind to you.
Here if you need.
Your friend,
Stacey
