Are you picking up your own Rubbish?
It’s easy to feel entitled and want all of the love, desire and food you know you deserve. times like Christmas and the New Year make you believe you can. Which is why some people around me made “out of character” decisions during this time. Shacking up with people they never usually would, becoming obsessive with dating apps, and becoming stuck in the depths of despair while finding it harder than usual to pull themselves out. To make matters harder so many covered it up with booze and indulgence just to get through it.
It was a few years ago when I decided to make sure January started with some time booze free. Drama free. I was fairly positive over the festive season. But I was masking that I craved a partner and family to share the festive season with.
However, I had my own back. (Eventually).
I started to read books that had homework activities to start the year fresh. It wasn’t easy but I always found an ability to protect myself. I made sure I was spending time with loved ones even if they were all couples instead of going out and having one night stands. I somehow used this time of year to be a marker. A reminder that if I floated off to an unhealthy place over Christmas, I had the new year and January to find my way back.
If you are away from yourself right now - and you know it - I’m here to tell you that you can make your own way back. I think that through times when we are more emotionally vulnerable we forget to advocate for ourselves. We can let guys, and girls, take advantage of us, leading us to cross boundaries and make decisions we know we aren’t happy with. We can let friends talk to us a certain way, then look the other way and not apologise. We can let family members behave badly and shrug their shoulders when we react, leaving the scene and not showing their face to you again until the next family birthday in April. And all the while you’re stressing your head in over their behaviour.
Regardless of where your mind might be when you feel vulnerable, volatile, and in a place you aren’t quite happy with,
be sure to advocate for yourself. Make your way back to yourself.
Whether it is dating, or whether it is in your everyday life. It is not someone else’s problem that you didn’t speak up when they made you feel like shit, or when a dating situation isn’t working for you. It is also not someone else's problem that you aren’t taking care of yourself. You are only a victim to bad behaviour if you allow yourself to cop it. It’s up to you to ensure you are taking a stand. So take a New Year charge into what is right for you. No matter what place you find yourself in right now.
I am starting group coaching this week for those of you who are looking to take charge.
Your tough love friend,
PS. Can I make a note that if you are in a more serious situation and finding it hard to get out of a dangerous position please make sure you contact a professional.
Lifeline is always available - the phone number is 131114 x